Since the 1st day I got on a Road Bike my Life has Never been the Same

For the first time in a very long time, I feel inspired to write a blog and I’m not exactly sure why, or what I want to write about but it sure has been one heck of a crazy year. Maybe it has just been the mere fact of going through life’s battles that have sidetracked me from sitting and writing, I guess sometimes in life, you are just on the front lines of war and you do whatever you have to do to stay standing and not fall, or to pick yourself up after you have fallen. Everything else goes by the wayside except for pure survival. There are so many events that have happened since my last blog that I wish I had written about as they were so great, but maybe now I feel ready to reflect and move on to yet another chapter, the book of my life is just happening a super speed and I can barely keep up.

Since the first day I got on a road bike my life has never been the same, I found something that I had been looking for, for a very long time, something that brought me the physical feeling of freedom that I feel in my spirit, in my relationship with the Lord. I would like my life on the bicycle to reflect my life with my heavenly Father, maybe it does, often I feel it doesn’t because it is so imperfect. Maybe that is the point, that our heavenly Father loves us, no matter what, his love is unconditional and unchanging for us and always was and always will be. As much as I want to be selfless and have my behavior reflect the Lord, I rarely succeed and as a cyclist, I want to win, I want to go faster, I want to be stronger and I want to do that while still loving others. Sounds simple but the last 17 months have proven it to be my most difficult mission to date, a lifelong mission, that I will never get exactly right, but in all my failures, God still, will be the strength in my weakness. That is the essence of my journey with a bike.

I think for the first time I am seeing the kind of fatherly (or motherly in my case) love that God has for me not through children but through a wonderful, beautiful puppy. I rarely do things on a whim, but the things I have done seem to always be the most impacting and greatest parts of my life, for example when I went to Haiti which changed my life and randomly took a job in a bike shop which also drastically is changing my life and propelling me into my God given destiny. So that latest whim, buying a puppy, I have wanted a dog for a long time and in yet the 100th moment of complete and udder disappointment and loneliness I bought a puppy and have not regretted it a moment since. Koa, the tiniest little Chihuahua is the sweetest animal and brings me so much joy, love and laughter. I never really saw myself as a dog person, but this little puppy, within a week, meant the world to me. Training her has been such a reflection of past and present events of how God has been training me for life. When Koa is trying to go on her pee pad, but misses, I don’t want to get mad at her for missing, but rather praise her for trying to get it right, and now I see, that God does the exact same thing with us.

My life has been full of so much blessing in difficulty and at some point I realized that following your dream is not all candy and flowers, it is tougher than I can describe. I get beat down on a daily basis, physically, emotionally, mentally and I can never be thankful enough that God has brought a wonderful man Kevin into my life, who believes in me and my dreams more than I do and who will do whatever it takes to help me succeed. If there were not so many difficulties in life I wouldn’t be the person I am and Kevin and I wouldn’t have such a wonderful relationship, the Lord has truly blessed us through the most ugliest of problems that never ever seem to end.

I had some great success in my first year of cyling, 2nd in the Prospera Valley Fondo, 1st in my first cyclocross race and it has just begun. Today I start training with some national team and pro athletes, defiantly nervous, sick this morning from gluten, still nursing a hamstring injury, but I have never in my life been so excited for this opportunity, another major open door to pursing my dream. I am so thankful. I love this messy life and I can’t wait to see what God has for the future.

Women's Cycling - Stuck in the 70's...

“I am a Cyclist”

I never thought it was possible to be so passionate about a sport until I started cycling.

What is cycling? It involves a bike, not just any bike, but a road bike. Ranging in price from $700 to $15,000+, weighing anywhere from 24 lbs to <13 lbs. You wear tight clothing, often with flashy colors, and the rednecks driving by in their car will scream insults at you about your tight clothes and "superman" suit. Usually, if you really get into the sport, your helmet matches your bike and is about the weight of a styrofoam cup along with your matching carbon soled shoes. The bike you ride is fast, really fast as you pedal your heart out racing the cars blitzing by you, getting up to 90km/hr on a steep decent. The risk of crashing or getting hit by a car is always very high but it never crosses your mind any more. The sport can become so addicting you sacrifice friendships, earning extra income, having errands done like clean laundry or food in the house. If you start the sport before you have a well established income, most likely you are living below the poverty level and you have no way of getting above that line anytime soon. If you are a cyclist in your mind it is all worth it because the moment you get on that bike you become free. Somehow the world and all of its troubles just disappear into the abyss as you glide over the pavement with ease. You search for steepest hills you can find to climb only to experience a burning pain in your legs, so intense that it is probably close to some form of inhumane torture, all for the satisfaction of having a better time that your fellow cyclists or beating your last “Strava” time. You have cycling friends, but you never really know what the level of friendship because socializing is done while pedaling at 25km + on the roads and you are always in competition with each other. A cyclist has found their youth once again; they have found inner peace and joy after thousands of kilometers on the road in all weather conditions, all year around. How is Women’s Cycling still stuck in the 70’s?


http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/exergy-tour-cancellation-leaves-usa-without-womens-uci-events

If you are a female cyclist, looking to race, looking to become professional then you might as well be prepared for a trip to the 70’s. When was the last time you saw women’s cycling on TV besides the Olympics? Have you ever read about women’s cycling and the lack of funding? I wonder exactly how many professional women’s cyclists aren’t getting paid in North America. When was the last time you even heard of a women’s only cycling race in Western Canada? I could complain for days about how much money is in men’s cycling, including all the financing for doping, that has always been a part of the sport. What would be the point though, it goes back to the days where women were fighting to vote, this seems ridiculous. How does the Giro D’Italia have millions of dollars in funding while the women’s Exergy Tour in the U.S. is cancelled for 2013 due to lack of funding? I know they are different countries, but seriously. Even the men’s Tour of California, comparable to the Exergy Tour in Idaho runs every year with full sponsorship. The comparison of women’s verses men’s cycling is disgusting to say the least. Even if you try to google pro women’s cyclist, what comes up is “9 sexiest women’s cyclist” what a disgrace.

It has been awesome to see athletes like Clara Hughes and Catherine Pendral despite all obstacles, overcome and become world champions. The are examples to women all over the world in overcoming, tackling challenges and pressing forward no matter what. If you really are a cyclist it isn’t about the money it is about the sport and what it can do to help others, to inspire others, to be all that they can be. Maybe that is why women’s cycling has been able to keep a certain level of “innocence” in the sport, I am sure there is still doping one way or another, but it does not seem nearly as prevalent as the men’s, using the Lance Armstrong legacy as the prime example. I would like to do what I can to move women’s cycling forward in the small circle of influence that I have and I was reminded my passion for this yet again the other day.

How is wearing a kit that looks like Grandma’s Curtains going to help our Sport?



It is great the companies like Lululemon and Specialized are stepping up and sponsoring our local female athletes however I do have one complaint, one in which I need to make a personal commitment to help change. The women’s cycling kit that was designed for this team last year wasn’t great, it looked like a zebra that forgot half it’s strips, and it was mostly black, very warm in the summer heat. If the pro women wore the one you could buy in the store then I have 100 times more respect for them, the seams are horrible and would easily cut into your leg, the chamois was a disgrace and even if it provided decent comfort it looks like it would be packed down in 60km. But the kit was livable, I would never wear it, but it was unique. Now I walked into Lululemon in Downtown Vancouver this week and I never in my world of cycling have ever been so disgusted in my life. The women’s cycling kit I saw in there with “UCI” tacked on the shoulder was by far the absolute worst outfit I have ever seen. As a female cyclist fighting to bring the sport out of the 70’s I could not have been more appalled. The new cycling kit is a complete disgrace. Who decided that wearing the curtains from my Grandma’s living room in the 70’s would help to move the sport towards equivalency for women? This has set a fire in my heart to not sit here and complain, but to find a way to stop women’s cycling from being a joke and help it to become a well respected career for women all over the world. It is horrible that women have take whatever has been given to them, including wearing Grandma’s curtains to try and gain more sponsorship, brutal. I may have found a place to start, STOP cycling kits like the new Lululemon from ever being made! How un-believably upsetting and yes the quality of the kit is absolute garbage. I do however suppose that if I really want to help, money is the root issue, along with lack of interest in watching the sport. I do apologize for insulting somebody’s hard work of designing that kit, but it truly is a disgrace to the sport in my mind. Yes, I do realize that posting pictures of this kit is still advertising for them, but at least it's advertising for the sport.

I find myself so passionate about a great sport and looking forward to helping bring change.

Maintaining Integrity in a Battle Pt.1

I started to do a little study on Integrity in the Bible and God paused me on my first scripture;

Job 2:3 ESV

"And the Lord said to Satan, "Have you considered my servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth a blameless and upright man, who fears the Lord and turns away from evil? He still holds fast his integrity, although you incited me against him to destroy him without reason"

Then the Lord started speaking this to me;

God is telling Satan how Job is still a man of integrity after all that he has gone through. Did Job get everything right on the first try? I don't think so. But I think God saw that his heart was directed towards him in all of it. In this battle to be a vessel of Gods light I think it is the very fact God places us in a battle so that are light can shine brighter. I don't think we are to measure the daily weekly or even monthly up and downs but rather the overall picture and direction of the heart. When we choose or maybe not by choice but end up in the darkest places on earth whether it is physical poverty or spiritual poverty or both it is going to be very difficult. When we choose to follow God in those places it becomes in terms of the fleshes desires increasingly difficult yet we receive an inner strength from Gods spirit that will lift us up not matter how many times we fall and give up hope. I believe it is in those places that we become so close to God and we truly begin to learn what his love can do for us. Just like being in love with another person, we long for those enjoyable romantic times, yet is it the most difficult times that can either draw you closer together or drive you further apart depending on if you choose to fight the battle or you choose to be complacent and ignore the battle. To preserve through a battle draws the relationship closer so that no wedge can be placed between the relationship and that intimate relationship with God, with a spouse, is the great reward.

To be continued...

I'm so Frustrated!

Wow, another month gone by, time is flying and I'm glad because every day is a little closer to warmer weather (hopefully) and everyday is one step closer to becoming something more. This last month has been filled with one problem after another, back problems, health problems, car problems, work problems, interviews not going well, more school and qualification needed and no money to fund it, getting my celiac biopsy done by a surgeon that doesn't even believe in celiac and just wants to prescribe me more drugs so he can make more money and hours spent in emergency stressing about the person I care the most about. When my friends needed me I was there for them and I made sacrifices to do it, where have mine been the last year when I've been holding on for dear life? I guess I must have done something wrong along the way. The list could go on and it does, i'm so frustrated and forever exhausted and I look for a break, then there seems to be more drama, my leisure riding time turns into bickering with every body knowing a solution and no one willing to put in the work. I go to work and daily I come across the rudest most self centred people, I always have viewed it as my "mission" field to spread some love of the kingdom, but some weeks I just want to throw in the towel. We work so hard at the store to give great service and when people proceed to speak ill of myself or others it just adds to list of frustrations. When someone bully's me, I can stand up for myself, I get a lot of practice, yes it still hurts but I just learn how to move on. But when someone bully's someone else who can't stand up for them self, that drives me absolutely crazy, I have zero tolerance for it, never have and never will. Frustrated is the word.

I was greatly encouraged by my devotional this morning, once again God's love didn't fail me.

Victorious Living

"Do not be like the man who hid his master's talent in the ground because he was disgruntled with his circumstances. He gave up and took the easy way out: blaming his situation rather making the most of his opportunity. The truth is, the more difficult your situation, the more treasure there is for you to discover in it. "
{Jesus Lives- Sarah Young)

So I take my eyes off of the negative and I look at all the good God has put in front of me. If I haven't found my career yet it is because God must have something really great for me, If I can just persevere with patience trusting the Lord I will find it. I have to believe that my dreams can come true. I will get there, and when I do I will be glad that I didn't give up and settle for less than all of what God has for me. So the sowing and the toil continues until God decides the season in which I will bear fruit.

Without God I am nothing, absolutely nothing and with Him I can do anything and nothing is impossible.

Thank You Father for Life.

Every Closed Door means a New Door is Opening!

The Fight to Race

I have been meaning to write a blog for some time now, its funny how quickly time can slip away with the busyness of life. It is always a constant struggle to prioritize the important duties of the day, I suppose that is just the way of the western world and I am learning to enjoy all of it.

Anyways I think the last time I wrote I was thinking about racing, so nervous and not really sure if I was ready. Anyways, I got a nasty cold and then last minute I decided to race anyways. My first race goals were to get over the initial fear o racing, figure out how to ride in racing peleton (the pack), figure out what it takes to stay in the front of the peleton, and to finish all the laps of the race. So that is just what I did, and man it was tough! Up Armstrong Hill, flat, down a hill, flat, repeat. It was incredibly difficult, my cold just weakened my body enough that I didn't have the speed I needed to have race results closer to my training results. I finished the race happy, exhausted of course, but happy! Happy I finished the race, happy I broke through the fear barrier, and happy I left with a lot of things I can learn to do better the next time. Of course I would have liked to have done better but I have to remember it was my first race, I've only really been riding road outside for 4 months and mainly indoor for 4 other than some cross rides and mountain bike rides, so I really think I can feel happy with the fact I got into a race. I have overcome some difficult barriers this year alone, just so that I could ride a bike, I won't get into them, but the health barriers alone I have had to fight through have not only made me stronger, but also proud of how hard I can fight with the help of God, and of good people. When I returned from Haiti, I was so ill and since then I have learnt that it was in fact not just Haiti that caused my health to sky rocket downhill, but also the undiagnosed Celiac Disease. I think I will talk more about that another time, but I had to completely change how I live my life, I am so sensitive to gluten that If I even sit in a Subway restaurant I will get sick from the airborne bread allergens floating in the air . If I even touch gluten and then accidentally touch my mouth, I will be ill for a week, so yes, my life has changed, and learning to be social again has proved to be difficult as always explaining my condition gets to be tedious and just plain annoying.

Cycling offers me an outlet, something I can do that I enjoy, physically, emotionally and even socially. It has helped me to press through so many of these barrios in life.

I was hoping to do more races this month, but the Lord knows what is best for me, and I know that I need to wait for His timing. I tweaked my back again, I herniated a disc in my back last spring (for probably the 6th time in my life), but this time it was really bad. I rested for a month, I was rowing and cycling at the time, and then I went back to training, just cycling this time, it just felt right. The surgeon said expect it to flare up within the year, so last week it did, it could have been much worse, but I was still completely bummed out. I wanted to race more, I didn't want to have wasted my training, and I didn't want to go through the pain again. I just couldn't take going through it again, having to work eight hour shifts in excruciating pain, I had done it before and I didn't want to do it again but I had no choice. So I got anti-inflammatory's, T3's and pressed on. I sat with the Lord to find out if this was then end of the road for me in racing, was I heading the wrong direction, or was this just another bump in the road to gain perspective. I soon came to find out it was the latter, just a bump in the road, one I am already thankful for. God has relaxed my soul and shown me a greater picture for cycling. God has shown my a small way I can contribute to my friends in Haiti through cycling (which I have been asking repeatedly). Not only that but during that time my friend emailed me a link and it is a Mountain Bike Stage race in Haiti, over the very road we drove over from Port-au-Prince to Jacmel, and I saw pictures of Haitians riding fast on actual road bikes! I was in absolute shock and excitement! Of everything I went through there on a personal level, I have had to work through a lot of emotions from Haiti over the last two years and in my heart I know that I still love that place.

So I am putting together a training plan with the events and races I want to focus on and I motivated to figure out the details of how I can get to that Stage race in Haiti next year. So exciting! I got on the bike twice this week and I had an amazing ride yesterday! I did way more yesterday than I thought was possible, a fast pace, man I wish I felt like that during my race! Well next time!

Every Closed Door means a New Door is Opening!

Still Fighting the Cold

Sunday was an awesome ride in the sunshine!

I headed out with FVRC at 8:00am, cold but sunny, and we rode out fast ready to hit some hills! A good group of 7 of us who have been training consistently all winter in indoor spin class and rides outside whenever possible. We had an awesome line going just rotating pulling at the front keeping our average speed above 30km/hr. I just love that feeling. Teamwork, everybody taking their turns working together until we hit the hills, then it's every woman/man for themselves! I was quite happy with my hill climbs in the morning, I took 3 days off for my quad strain, decided not race, and it was feeling really good. I got 2 of my best times on a couple climbs in the valley, Telegraph trail climb and 272nd climb, so I was happy with that, I didn't really think I would. Spin class and California training has really done me some good!

Since I couldn't race I wanted to watch the races on the weekend, scope out the competition and see how the races run, I thought this would help calm down some of my nerves for racing and it did. I meant to stay just for an hour of the race because it was chilly and I was sweaty from our 60km ride out. I ended up staying for the whole 3.5 hours, just loving watching the races. I learnt so much watching, talking to other people, and I got to meet some very fast racers and family. I got to see one of the racers whose team we saw training down in California, so that was neat, and the family was very encouraging to me, in getting started racing. I got to cheer on a few of our club members, which was neat! So I feel more confident to race now after watching it and seeing that my training times are close enough to be in the race, now it is just a matter of building up my stamina at race pace. I learnt that there is no shame in pulling out of a race, especially at this time of the year, the beginning of the season for cyclist. No point in causing an injury coming off of winter months.

So this week I'll be nursing my quad, getting the physio's advice and will also be trying to get rid of this horrible sore throat I woke up with this morning. It's not looking too good for next sundays's race, but I'm not going to lose hope yet, Sunday is still 5 days away. I have not really taken a true day off probably in over a month, so at some point I need to do that, I may get time this weekend. California was very restful mentally, but it was hard training and of course long days after exploring all the sites. I am so thankful I got to do that, It has made a world of difference in how well I can function at home now, I really did need it, and work has been just crazy busy since i've been home! Which is nice but exhausting! Anyways, I guess I'm just processing my days and my training, somehow writing this out encourages me and helps me not to get too down when I can't accomplish a goal I set out to (racing).

Keeping my hopes high and my legs spinning on a bike until the day I will get to finally enter a race!

To Race or Not to Race

Home again, right back into the grind.

I am thankful that I can come home to a job where I still get to be involved in the cycling industry, somehow through all the ups and downs at work over the last year, I still love bikes. It is so great to get somebody on their first bike, or to help them choose which bike to upgrade into, I just consider it such a worthy investment! I have already seen a bike change so many people's lives, including my own.

So I had planned my first race on March 3 in the local Spring Series but on my last day of riding out in Solvang I felt a change in heart and make a change in plans into a training plan that would be more effective long term for my racing goals. I decided that I would not ride the first race of the spring series, but rather head out and watch it to see what it is all about. From there I will target a few races, to race, and start to build my body up to target a specific race in Washington I would like to get to. The race in WA is a 3 days stage race and it is a women's race which is what I am looking for. Racing and training with men here, has it's benefits, but women's racing has such a different strategy altogether and I need to put my time into learning what that is all about.

Maybe it was God's way of confirming my decision but on the last day in Solvang I had a slight pull in my quad during a few sprint drills and that ended that ride early as we lightly spun home. The pull is not too bad, just enough that I need to take a few days off which puts me out for a March 3 race anyways and if I didn't have this injury, most likely I wouldn't take needed rest and I may even have tried to race, despite my decision. I really need to keep focused on my overall training plan.

So I am home, back to the rollers and cold rainy weather, trying to keep a good attitude about all of it and by Sunday i'll be able to layer up and get out for a nice ride.

346 KM in 4 Days - Solvang California

Pic 1: View on last day of riding, can't wait to come back and ride that full route to the beach!
Pic 2: Lots of food, on and off the bike
Pic 3: Love this shot
Pic 4: Sweet shot pedaling up a hill

I'm not ready for this to be over! This has been one of the best experiences of my life, possibly the best one!

There are so many more mountains here I want to climb on my bike, so many beautiful roads I want to ride and I have to go home tomorrow. This is the place to be if you want to become a better, faster, stronger cyclist. Not only do you get the weather, but there is just not challenging roads like this at home because our weather conditions don't allow the roads to be build with the steep grade % like here with all the twists and turns. For example our ride yesterday was equivalent in elevation to climbing Cypress three times in terms of elevation. Now I feel I will have to climb the usual hills at home 5x over per ride to get the same challenge of riding here but I know Kevin already has routes planned to challenge me at home as well as having harder gearing on my bike.

I love that cycling is much more common here, the automobiles driving by are much more respectful and no one tried to run us off the road. We met amazing people who are out riding. On our first day we met a guy riding who owns a winery, he sponsors pro teams and he was saying women from the Canadian national team who come down here to train stay at his place! I think one of the best parts about riding here is that no matter what level of cyclist you are, people wave at you and the atmosphere is awesome! The PRO LIVESTRONG team zoomed by us yesterday on their TT bikes at 40+km/hr and they still waved at us! SO COOL! Very different than getting snubbed by the CAT 1 racers around Vancouver or even just the clubs. We really can learn a lot from the people cycling down here. I am so thankful, yet again for Kevin, because since day one of riding he has always waved at cyclist passing by, regardless of if they wave or not, he is alway friendly and alway happy on his bike, who knows, if I didn't have a mentor like him, I too could have been headed to be a cyclist with an "elitist" attitude.

Today I so badly want to go our for a ride, I feel like I could go and climb for hours, mentally I have recovered great from the rides but most likely my legs need this day of rest. Yesterday Kevin and I did a few little sprint drills and I did hit a limit, a little pull in the quad, so that did shorten our ride a fair amount. I am so impressed though, how much I could do before my body hit a limit. I didn't get one cramp this whole time, which means we ate properly heading up to this, trained properly, and fueled properly down here. Being Celiac is incredibly difficult, trying to find food, constantly explaining it to people, not being able to eat or drink at a restaurant simply because somebody is too lazy to look into things for us, or they think they understand Celiac disease when really they have no clue. For example we talked to a chef here who was going off about how potatoes contain gluten (they don't), so quickly we knew that we wouldn't be eating at that restaurant which really would have been convenient. We did get sick here a couple times from gluten, both of our stomaches are not at all feeling great today, but when we were riding we just pushed through it. The best way for us is always the grocery store, many sandwiches, and it is great they have a lot of gluten free options. Kevin and myself are both very happy to have a "teammate" who loves to ride bikes and who has to struggle through the life of a Celiac. One tiny breadcrumb or gluten filler then we get very sick for a week. We have recently been introduced to some "gluten digestion" supplements, which seem to help how long we are sick for, but it still sucks every time. We just say, Oh well, and go on with the day feeling sick, fuzzy brain, and enjoy life as best as possible.

I know I need to get back home to responsibilities, but I also know that God has a plan and there is a way for me. A way that will be joyful, a way that is not constantly dealing with people trying to bring me down, mentally and emotionally. I am learning there still are many good people in the world, I have had an amazing week break here in Solvang from the hard obstacles I face everyday at home. I guess maybe that is why mentally I was prepared to climb an HC category mountain with no problem, with all the hard things I've faced in the last 5 years especially the last 9 months, climbing mountains seems like a breeze, I feel so free and I meet God at the top of every little climb. I have tears in my eyes thinking about going back home, but there is a plan, a plan to ride, a plan to race, a plan to show others that life can be great, that it really is what you make it. There is a wonderful plan, a story for each of us, that God has written about us, but we must fight to find it. The story God had written about your life is the greatest treasure you could find.

I'm glad God has a story for my life and I am excited to continue to walk through the doors that He opens on this ADVENTURE called LIFE.

(I still need to figure out a better format for these pics)




Pic 5: Love this one too!
Pic 6: Horse trying to get my attention
Pic 7: Hanging on the beach after our last day riding

288 KM in 3 Days!

Wow! I have so many amazing things to write about from the last 2 days!

As I wrote about in my last blog Kevin and I were headed off to conquer Mt. Fig HC category (so many 18% gradient climbs) and that we did! I completed it in 1:46.04 and Kevin did it in 1:41.00. I am so pumped because some of the pro women times for the climb is 1:27.00. I know so many sections where I can easily make up that time, but the first time you ride a mountain, you don't really know it, which has its benefits mentally, but also knowing the mountain allows you to push on the sections that are your strong points as a rider.

The times above were to the "snow line" on the mountain. BUT being Canadian and all we weren't going to let a little snow stop us from getting to all the way to the top. So I attempted a little ride on the ice and obviously my bike slipped all over the place so I got off and started walking I knew Kevin was up there somewhere, I saw his bike tracks in the snow so I had to find him and I admit I was a little worried he was gonna get eaten by a Mountain Lion. So anyways, it was only about 5 min of walking on ice and carrying my bike before I found some dry roads and make it to the top after 15 more minutes. IT WAS AWESOME! One other guy met us at the top, the 3 crazy canadians of course, I would hardly call that snow! It was however a little scary coming down as our cleats froze and we couldn't get unclipped, we both got one foot out in the nick of time before we had a major bail down on the ice. Kevin's right foot was pretty much locked in his shoe the whole decent of the mountain and the ride home which totalled about 40km.

Descending Mt. Fig is just as fun as climbing it! The wind out here in California is nothing like i've every experienced before, one little gust could easy blow you right off your bike. There is no way we could ride our wheels here this time of year (Cosmic Carbone SLR), the crosswind would take us out, not to mention the majority of the roads are insanely rough. Not gonna lie, I sure which I had my Cannondale EVO frame here, for many reasons some being. the smoothness and stiffness of the bike for climbing, descending and bumpy roads. My upper back and shoulders have never hurt so much on a bike! However, I do really love the Ultegra DI2 and the feel of Shimano hoods but I could use a nicer frame and the 3 . 5 less pounds of weight on my bike.

On the third day we set out to conquer 160 km and I had no idea how I was gonna do it as I just had my toughest ride ever the day before but I wasn't gonna let anything stop me! I drank a ton of fluids, loaded up my pockets with food and we headed out. Overall we ended up climbing more on this day that the total of Mt. Fig. The day we did Mt. Fig had a total of 1,488m of elevation and this day had 2,150m just to give you an idea. It was that type of ride where you have to dig so deep within yourself and find something that you had no idea was there. I am completely amazed at what the human body is capable of as well as the human soul guided by God's spirit. Both of these 2 days, I met God in a new way that I never imagined finding him, it was like He was just waiting on top of every single climb that we did. We did about 4 mountains on this day, and there was one point where we had to climb a CAT 2 category mountain, down the other side, back up, then down again, this was the 3rd mountain of the day. The other 2 were the roughest roads I have ever been on, on a road bike, my descending improved dramatically, those steep grades and corners with 100ft cliff edges and insanely bumpy roads, one miss handle, and off the edge you could go.

Back to the mountain with a CAT 2 category (and this one had some of the first smooth roads of the day). I bonked, it was about 3 hours in we started going up the first side, I have never done steady exercise for over 3 hours straight and my body just wanted to stop. However there was no way I was not completing the ride I set out to do, even if I had to pedal at 6km/hr up the mountain. So I spun, nice easy gear, one pedal stroke at a time, lowered my heart rate, waited for the banana to kick in and up the mountain I went, I thought, well at least i'll make it to the top, and then maybe not do the other side. Before I knew it, I was up the mountain!!! Then I saw the amazing decent down the other side and there was no way I was gonna miss out on that! So after all the descending we had done up to that point, that felt like the reward! My handling skill have improved so much, the corners, the smooth road, the beautiful scenery was was UNREAL! It was about as perfect as it could get! Kevin said that was easily the best decent he had ever been on! Then to top it off we had the friendliest horses come visit us, and we got some awesome pics. Then we headed back up, a steeper grade % and down the other side, somehow through all that I started to feel much better and my legs started moving again!

6 hours, 5 bananas, 6 bottles of water, 3 bars, 1 pack of electrolyte later we completed 140km! I was upset we didn't get the full 160km but we were suppose to head out a little further on one of the roads and didn't realize it, to get the full distance. But oh well, that was my biggest ride ever, with an insane amount of climbing! I still have so much more to write, but i'm gonna be late for my ride today! All I can say is without Kevin's constant encouragement and monitoring of my safety these rides would not be as great as they are. I am so blessed!

Lovin life on the road!



Pic 1: Horses came to visit on the other side of the mountain I almost didn't make it over!
Pic 2: Top of Mt. Fig! Conquered an HC climb
Pic 3: Loving life on the road with Jen, one of the Trek employee's

My Legs Need to get UN-Fatigued by 9am...

... and it's 7:30am.

Yesterday was awesome! Kevin and I rode 77km yesterday and over 1,100 meters of climbing in California. We cycled through the rolling hills of wine country and it was just beautiful! That is more climbing then we generally get on a ride back home, but somehow it didn't seem like it. It sunny and beautiful, however we had a pretty strong headwind on many parts of the ride and the temperature was 7 to 20 degree's depending where we were, although it never felt that warm. The roads had a few smooth sections, but were mainly "bumpy" but only some sections were really noticeable and the scenery was so beautiful I hardly cared. We kept up a decent average speed and I turns out I really did like the Ultegra Di2 for all the climbing.

I am still undecided whether I like the DI2 better or RED, I feel like the DI2 could make me a "lazy" rider as its so simple to just shift up into the easy gears (not having to swing a lever over). That being said, with RED, swinging the lever over really isn't any work, and I love the feel of shifting, the mechanics of it is all a part of cycling and often with DI2, it was so quite, especially with the wind, I had to look down to make sure it was had shifted down or up in back.

As for the Trek Madone 6.5, well, I liked the feel of the bottom bracket (BB90) more than I though I would, it felt very smooth and the stiffness of the frame and comfort in the back was really quite nice. The front end, the word would be responsive, VERY responsive, or perhaps "twitchy" is a better way to describe it. My first descent was a little scary and I thought maybe my headset was loose, but there was just a lot of flex in the front that I am not used to on my Cannondale Evo, Cannondale SuperX or my Masi. I just have to change my descending style which is fine because I need a lot of practice and fine tuning of that skill set anyways. It is helping me to become more comfortable cycling quickly! I think Kevin's description was adequate for our Evo's verses the Madone's "It's not as smooth as Butter (Evo) but it's still Margarine".

Alright, well this blog is probably not written in the greatest english but i'm trying to get all my liquids down while i'm sitting here before we go to climb Mt.Figueroa. It is 4800 feet, a 10 mile climb with an average gradient of 9%. To put that in perspective Mt.Cypress in Vancouver is 2625 feet, a 7.5 mile climb with an average gradient of 5%.

Mt.Figueroa is an HC which by definition is:
Hors catégorie is a French term used in cycle races (most notably, the Tour de France) to designate a climb that is "beyond categorization", an incredibly tough climb. Most climbs in cycling are designated from Category 1 (hardest) to Category 4 (easiest), based on both steepness and length. A climb that is harder than Category 1 is designated as hors catégorie.

This is the Mountain the pro's come and train on.

Yesterday we did one Cat 3 and four Cat 4 climbs and my legs are fatigued. Lets hope they wake up in time to climb up the mountain, its starts with an 18% gradient, so they better be ready!

Off to ride...

Arrived in Solvang!

Just arrived in Solvang for 4 days of riding! I am so excited! Kevin and I flew into LA, then we drove up the coast stopping in Santa Monica, lunch on the pier in Malibu, which was fabulous, a quick drive through Santa Barbara, then arrived in the cutest little dutch down, Solvang.

The hotel is nice so far, although more of a motel and unfortunately we talked to the chef in the restaurant and didn't feel that she really understood the seriousness of Celiac disease, so instead of risking it, we opted for grocery shopping making sandwiches in the room. Looks like we will be eating a lot of sandwiches this week. Oh well, tis life for us.

I am feeling a little under the weather, but with the sunshine and the terrain, as soon as I start pedalling I know I'll feel a million times better instantly! I should be getting my gear on right now, it is a littler cooler than I had hoped, sitting at 4 degree's right now. I hope it warms up quickly as we didn't bring our winter riding jackets or winter tights. Nonetheless this is going to be awesome! We will be riding some Trek 6.5 Madones with Ultegra DI2, soon I will find out if I prefer Shimano DI2 or the ever faithful SRAM Red groupo. As for the frames, I will be comparing my Cannondale Evo to a Madone 6.5. With the new Kammtail on the Madone, it is suppose to be a pretty nice riding bike. So we shall see! Okay I really need to get my gear on!

Out on the Road

Well, it sure feels good to hit the pavement on my bike again! I’ve been out on the open road only a couple times since September, the rest of the time has been indoor on the rollers and learning some mountain and cross bike skills. While the rollers have made me even stronger than last spring and hitting the trails is scary, fun and exhilarating, there is nothing quite like flying down the open road at high speeds on a really smooth fast bike! I’m really happy with my results over the winter and now it is time to build up strength climbing the hills. In Solvang, California in a couple weeks I’ll get to put my legs to the test with a 10mile climb with an average 9% grade and I can’t wait!

Today’s ride was sopping wet, it felt like my gloves weighed 5lbs a piece at the end of the ride along with my booties and shoes, yet a wet day on the road is better than not being on the road at all! Cycling never really gets easier, you just get faster and I often wonder why I find putting myself through so much physical pain to be so much fun. Maybe it’s the reward of pushing my body further than I thought possible or climbing multiple hills only to find I still have the legs to climb more. Maybe it’s the comradery or just the pure pleasure of being out in nature. Whatever it is, I sure do love cycling. I am honestly too tired from this weeks rides to think anymore or type anymore right now, all am I thinking about is what I can eat for dinner.

I thought maybe that I would come up with some interesting blog today, but I guess I just needed to process my ride a bit and try to feel more connected to the world. Am I sacrificing too much time to ride? I think it’s okay to work towards my dream, I mean I don’t have a family to take care of and maybe soon enough I’ll be able to find some fast girls to ride with as well. Maybe one day I’ll be fast enough to join a team of fast girls, only God knows, but in this lonely, exhilarating, daring, fun adventure I am pursing I know God has a plan in all of it.

Time for more food…

Now it is time for My Story

I got tired of living other peoples stories, don’t get me wrong, I loved to help and serve others in their lives ventures, but I very much desired my own story. I knew it had to happen at the right time; otherwise the pieces of the puzzle wouldn’t have fit together properly. I waited and waited, I prayed and I prayed, when I felt the green light to go I leaped as far as I could thinking God would catch me and instead of landing on my feet in my Father’s arms, I landed face first in a valley that only ever saw darkness.

It is there that I am learning how to be the light that God has made me. It took me many months before I realized that I had gotten what I asked for, My Story.

I am so afraid, I don’t want to admit it, but I am. I feel so alone at times it scares me, until I realize I have a friend in God that will never ever leave me no matter what happens. Not only do I have a friend in God but also God brought me someone because He knows me and He knew my desire for companionship. I thank God everyday for Kevin, without him I would never have gotten to this part of My Story.

So one piece at a time I will share My Story, some parts I am too afraid to write because that would mean looking inside myself, other parts I must express with much frustration and other parts I cannot wait to share with the world.

I guess I am just a dreamer, I believe that I can do something bigger than myself because God is with me. I have to be okay with failing because I will learn from it, pick myself up and try again. I try to follow the practicalities of life as best as I can, but I know there is more out there, as we all do, and I don’t want to miss out on any of it.

I tossed and turned all night last night, I though to myself, why the heck do I think I can race a bike? I rode the first race course for spring series the last couple days and it is incredibly tough. I thought I have pushed my body to the limits before but this was a whole new world of pain. Sure my times on the course were decent, especially for a novice, but I only did half the distance, how the heck am I suppose to race the whole distance? Not only that but there are all these rules to follow, plus the unspoken edict that comes with road racing. Yes, I am freaking out, but fortunately I have about three weeks to work through these thoughts so I am confident for race day. I keep thinking to myself, am I really going to do this? Part of me thinks it is just a dream, that I won’t really be racing, I mean it all happened so fast. I really have been only cycling for eight months and three of those months have been inside on the rollers. As in life, I need to be okay with other people disliking me during the race, getting frustrated at me for the novice mistakes I may make and I have to be okay with the amount of pain I will endure. Why the heck do I want to do this? That is a great question, but there is this burning passion in my heart that is pressing me on and telling me I can do this. I think I am so afraid because I’ve never wanted anything so bad.

The training continues…

When Life Get's you Down...

...Get on a Bike!


Wow, it sure has been a long time since I’ve blogged and my life has changed so much in the last year, I'm not quite sure where to start. The name of my blog "When Life Get’s you Down... …Get on a Bike", with the picture of a bike in the background is a good indicator of the new direction my life has taken. Easily put, life got me really down and then when I thought things were going to get better, they took a turn for the worse but somehow through some of the toughest days I’ve faced, riding a bike not only got me through it, but it took me full speed into a whole new world of joy; a whole new life.

So I sit here, wondering exactly how I got to this point in my life. That black and pink bike on my blog, yes that is my road bike, I have a cyclocross bike sitting next to me in my living room covered in mud from last weeks ride and a mountain bike hanging in the shop at work. I find I often have tears in my eyes when I sit here on my couch in the morning thinking about how I have been blessed in darkest days of my soul and I know deep in my heart that it can only be the hand of God that has carried me through.

Through this wilderness, God taught me how to walk differently, how to run gracefully and how to ride a bike really fast! I can now walk loving those who have been deemed "unlovable", I can now handle hatred, slander and persecution against me with grace and I now have the confidence to be who I am without shame and push my body to the limits every time I get on a bike.

I find a deep need to share my heart yet again, like my last blog but I am in such a different place that I do not doubt this blog will be very different from the last. Last blog I decided to take the leap of faith into living a life with God and I wrote about my journey in that. Life now is with God, for better or for worse, to be honest some days it seems it would be easier if I had chosen to not commit my life to Him, but then I remember the darkness of living without Him and I am immediately repentant. I remember I used to always pray “God I want to be in the world, but not of the world”. God is teaching me just that and it has proven to be way more difficult that I ever imagined. I remember some days over the last year where I truly felt that I was learning the meaning of “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you [God] are with me…” (Psalm 23:4). Those are the days where I stood, holding on to the smallest prayer and the tiniest glimmer of hope. Do I think those days are over? No I do not, but I do know that God is with me and I believe that as I make mistakes and fall on my face that I will learn more of God’s Kingdom culture. I pray that my journey will inspire others to seek their own individual journey to their God given destiny.

I really desire for this blog to be real, I am tired of religion and I am tired of a world of perfection, trying to reach something that I was not created for. I just want a pure raw relationship with God, honest, broken and more real than the air that I breathe. If the world could know that God loves them as they are, then we may yet see an awakening that God desires for mankind.

I picked up a great book recently call the “The Ragamuffin Gospel” by Brennan Manning. I’ve only read through a quarter of it, maybe eventually I’ll get through it, but in reading the first few chapters I saw the raw Gospel of God and I am thankful to be called a “Ragamuffin”. The definition: a ragged often disreputable person; especially: a poorly clothed often dirty child.

I don’t expect this blog to be anything like my as my last one because I have many days where I feel so far from God that I wonder if I ever knew him but. I have days where I am completely selfish and entirely frustrated at anything and everything. I have days where I feel I am walking in complete disobedience to God yet something keeps pushing me forward on the path I am on. I just think, well God loves me, I am a ragamuffin, completely human, deeply in love with God, learning to walk in God ways and not hiding in a bubble of safety. I take risks daily and if I take my eyes of God for even a second I tremble with fear and quickly run back to my Father’s arms, for God is my only safety net. Daily I fight, to pursue my passions yet remain in God and it is not one bit easy but I am thankful God is giving me this opportunity. Then again, maybe this blog will be more authentic than the last, bringing me to an even closer relationship to God and the people around me believers or not.

In any case, I can’t wait to share my life with you all! I will be racing soon, on my road bike, I am so scared and so excited! I’m headed off to my first training camp in Solvang California at the end of the month and then races begin in March.

Here is me… raw, wounded and too stubborn to give up on my passion: CYCLING!