When Life Get's you Down...

...Get on a Bike!


Wow, it sure has been a long time since I’ve blogged and my life has changed so much in the last year, I'm not quite sure where to start. The name of my blog "When Life Get’s you Down... …Get on a Bike", with the picture of a bike in the background is a good indicator of the new direction my life has taken. Easily put, life got me really down and then when I thought things were going to get better, they took a turn for the worse but somehow through some of the toughest days I’ve faced, riding a bike not only got me through it, but it took me full speed into a whole new world of joy; a whole new life.

So I sit here, wondering exactly how I got to this point in my life. That black and pink bike on my blog, yes that is my road bike, I have a cyclocross bike sitting next to me in my living room covered in mud from last weeks ride and a mountain bike hanging in the shop at work. I find I often have tears in my eyes when I sit here on my couch in the morning thinking about how I have been blessed in darkest days of my soul and I know deep in my heart that it can only be the hand of God that has carried me through.

Through this wilderness, God taught me how to walk differently, how to run gracefully and how to ride a bike really fast! I can now walk loving those who have been deemed "unlovable", I can now handle hatred, slander and persecution against me with grace and I now have the confidence to be who I am without shame and push my body to the limits every time I get on a bike.

I find a deep need to share my heart yet again, like my last blog but I am in such a different place that I do not doubt this blog will be very different from the last. Last blog I decided to take the leap of faith into living a life with God and I wrote about my journey in that. Life now is with God, for better or for worse, to be honest some days it seems it would be easier if I had chosen to not commit my life to Him, but then I remember the darkness of living without Him and I am immediately repentant. I remember I used to always pray “God I want to be in the world, but not of the world”. God is teaching me just that and it has proven to be way more difficult that I ever imagined. I remember some days over the last year where I truly felt that I was learning the meaning of “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you [God] are with me…” (Psalm 23:4). Those are the days where I stood, holding on to the smallest prayer and the tiniest glimmer of hope. Do I think those days are over? No I do not, but I do know that God is with me and I believe that as I make mistakes and fall on my face that I will learn more of God’s Kingdom culture. I pray that my journey will inspire others to seek their own individual journey to their God given destiny.

I really desire for this blog to be real, I am tired of religion and I am tired of a world of perfection, trying to reach something that I was not created for. I just want a pure raw relationship with God, honest, broken and more real than the air that I breathe. If the world could know that God loves them as they are, then we may yet see an awakening that God desires for mankind.

I picked up a great book recently call the “The Ragamuffin Gospel” by Brennan Manning. I’ve only read through a quarter of it, maybe eventually I’ll get through it, but in reading the first few chapters I saw the raw Gospel of God and I am thankful to be called a “Ragamuffin”. The definition: a ragged often disreputable person; especially: a poorly clothed often dirty child.

I don’t expect this blog to be anything like my as my last one because I have many days where I feel so far from God that I wonder if I ever knew him but. I have days where I am completely selfish and entirely frustrated at anything and everything. I have days where I feel I am walking in complete disobedience to God yet something keeps pushing me forward on the path I am on. I just think, well God loves me, I am a ragamuffin, completely human, deeply in love with God, learning to walk in God ways and not hiding in a bubble of safety. I take risks daily and if I take my eyes of God for even a second I tremble with fear and quickly run back to my Father’s arms, for God is my only safety net. Daily I fight, to pursue my passions yet remain in God and it is not one bit easy but I am thankful God is giving me this opportunity. Then again, maybe this blog will be more authentic than the last, bringing me to an even closer relationship to God and the people around me believers or not.

In any case, I can’t wait to share my life with you all! I will be racing soon, on my road bike, I am so scared and so excited! I’m headed off to my first training camp in Solvang California at the end of the month and then races begin in March.

Here is me… raw, wounded and too stubborn to give up on my passion: CYCLING!