Maintaining Integrity in a Battle Pt.1

I started to do a little study on Integrity in the Bible and God paused me on my first scripture;

Job 2:3 ESV

"And the Lord said to Satan, "Have you considered my servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth a blameless and upright man, who fears the Lord and turns away from evil? He still holds fast his integrity, although you incited me against him to destroy him without reason"

Then the Lord started speaking this to me;

God is telling Satan how Job is still a man of integrity after all that he has gone through. Did Job get everything right on the first try? I don't think so. But I think God saw that his heart was directed towards him in all of it. In this battle to be a vessel of Gods light I think it is the very fact God places us in a battle so that are light can shine brighter. I don't think we are to measure the daily weekly or even monthly up and downs but rather the overall picture and direction of the heart. When we choose or maybe not by choice but end up in the darkest places on earth whether it is physical poverty or spiritual poverty or both it is going to be very difficult. When we choose to follow God in those places it becomes in terms of the fleshes desires increasingly difficult yet we receive an inner strength from Gods spirit that will lift us up not matter how many times we fall and give up hope. I believe it is in those places that we become so close to God and we truly begin to learn what his love can do for us. Just like being in love with another person, we long for those enjoyable romantic times, yet is it the most difficult times that can either draw you closer together or drive you further apart depending on if you choose to fight the battle or you choose to be complacent and ignore the battle. To preserve through a battle draws the relationship closer so that no wedge can be placed between the relationship and that intimate relationship with God, with a spouse, is the great reward.

To be continued...

I'm so Frustrated!

Wow, another month gone by, time is flying and I'm glad because every day is a little closer to warmer weather (hopefully) and everyday is one step closer to becoming something more. This last month has been filled with one problem after another, back problems, health problems, car problems, work problems, interviews not going well, more school and qualification needed and no money to fund it, getting my celiac biopsy done by a surgeon that doesn't even believe in celiac and just wants to prescribe me more drugs so he can make more money and hours spent in emergency stressing about the person I care the most about. When my friends needed me I was there for them and I made sacrifices to do it, where have mine been the last year when I've been holding on for dear life? I guess I must have done something wrong along the way. The list could go on and it does, i'm so frustrated and forever exhausted and I look for a break, then there seems to be more drama, my leisure riding time turns into bickering with every body knowing a solution and no one willing to put in the work. I go to work and daily I come across the rudest most self centred people, I always have viewed it as my "mission" field to spread some love of the kingdom, but some weeks I just want to throw in the towel. We work so hard at the store to give great service and when people proceed to speak ill of myself or others it just adds to list of frustrations. When someone bully's me, I can stand up for myself, I get a lot of practice, yes it still hurts but I just learn how to move on. But when someone bully's someone else who can't stand up for them self, that drives me absolutely crazy, I have zero tolerance for it, never have and never will. Frustrated is the word.

I was greatly encouraged by my devotional this morning, once again God's love didn't fail me.

Victorious Living

"Do not be like the man who hid his master's talent in the ground because he was disgruntled with his circumstances. He gave up and took the easy way out: blaming his situation rather making the most of his opportunity. The truth is, the more difficult your situation, the more treasure there is for you to discover in it. "
{Jesus Lives- Sarah Young)

So I take my eyes off of the negative and I look at all the good God has put in front of me. If I haven't found my career yet it is because God must have something really great for me, If I can just persevere with patience trusting the Lord I will find it. I have to believe that my dreams can come true. I will get there, and when I do I will be glad that I didn't give up and settle for less than all of what God has for me. So the sowing and the toil continues until God decides the season in which I will bear fruit.

Without God I am nothing, absolutely nothing and with Him I can do anything and nothing is impossible.

Thank You Father for Life.